Hello fellow bloggers. Things aren’t going so well here in the big city. My mom, in an attempt to get me to turn things around, mentioned that this is 3 years since my diagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa. Something to the extent of “we’re going on three years now, come-on Cody!” It’s depressing and sad that I’m stuck in this cycle that was going on well before I was actually diagnosed with a full-blown eating disorder. It just sucks and there is nothing else to it. The eating disorder struggle has been, minute to minute, moment to moment, almost all consuming, BUT I did manage to go out with a friend saturday night and spend a beautiful Sunday with my mom and niece. Got to be grateful for the little things ay:).
I’m also in the middle of therapist switch which has been really difficult for me. I’m trying not to feel abandoned and like a failure. My current therapist, who I feel very comfortable with in this short time that we’ve worked together, feels that therapy between us has not been effective in helping me fight the eating disorder. She told me this week that I’m relapsing, and I’m somewhat aware of it but on the other hand I (or ED) don’t/doesn’t think it is all that serious. I’m switching to a DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) Therapist in hopes that she can help me find better ways to cope with my anxiety and as she put it “create a life worth living”, I really like that idea. The new therapist seems really great, but I’m feeling so guilty about all the money going into therapy with my lack of motivation and I don’t want to stop talking to my ED therapist because she really gets me. Although difficult on my end, I do understand where she is coming from. Anyway, only time for a quick check in. Hope to have more time to write soon.
iwillbebrave 